Post by Cole Hobbes on Nov 17, 2009 16:41:10 GMT -5
For those of you that used to play text adventure RPGs, here's something I found hilarious. I submit to you The Adventures of Scott, vol. 1. It was created over Google Talk. The "me" character in the story is not actually me. I present it to you entirely unedited for comic value. Sorry if it's long. And GO!
me: it is dark
your find a golden sprue
you*
5:13 PM
Scott: sprue?
me: the sprue looks like it came from a golden bicycle tire
5:15 PM
Scott: I pick it up
me: You obtain golden sprue
A light shines down, illuminating the room. the walls are solid rock,
there is a wooden door to the north
5:16 PM
Scott: Use sprue on solid rock
me: no effect
Scott: Use door
5:17 PM
me: the door opens, revealing a carefully carved hallway, winding to the north
Scott: walk north
me: you encounter an interection
5:18 PM
you can continue north, turn west, or turn east
Scott: Use Sprue
5:19 PM
me: no effect
Scott: Walk North
me: you encounter a rastaman!
Rastaman attacks
you suffer 3 hp of damage.
5:20 PM
curent hp 17/20
Scott: Cast Cantrip
me: Rastaman is confused
Rastaman pumps up the jams
5:22 PM
Scott: Roll to retreat
me: Dice Roll! 19! You escape
you encounter an intersection, youcan go north, west or east
5:24 PM
Scott: whew
Walk East
5:25 PM
me: the tunnel lowers, forcing you to crawl, there are rats. You can
continue east, or return west
Scott: Use Sprue on rats
5:26 PM
me: you impale a rate on the sprue.
golden sprue lost
golden rat sprue +1 obtained
5:27 PM
Scott: Equip Golden Rat Sprue +1
5:28 PM
me: item equipped
14 minutes
5:42 PM
Scott: Turn around. Walk West
time to die, Rastaman
5:43 PM
me: you reach an intersection
5:44 PM
east, west, or north
5:46 PM
oh no
you are ambushed by dragon lawyer
img.waffleimages.com/49a5050a73aabbac821c2ae632b996b2f752fc42/Dragon%20Lawyer.png
10 minutes
5:56 PM
Scott: PLEA BARGAIN!
me: Denied.
2:42 PM
Scott: yikes
me: You take 5 damage
current hp 12/20
Scott: Cast "Detect Legal Loophole"
2:43 PM
me: loophole found: exploit?
Scott: Exploit!
me: Dragon lawyer is taken aback.
2:44 PM
Dragon lawyer takes 15 damage from your codified legalese
2:45 PM
Scott: Wield Golden Rat +1
me: Dragon lawyer takes 13 damage from GR+1
Dragon Lawyer retreats.
2:46 PM
You recieve legal tome
2:47 PM
Scott: whew
Read Tome
2:48 PM
me: Intellect increases by 1. Vitality decrases by 1
2:50 PM
Scott: continue east
2:54 PM
me: the tunnell opens into a large room. there is a candle, a silver
tray, and an apple on a table. there is one chair. a door is to the
north and bars to the east
2:57 PM
Scott: Take apple
me: you recieve apple
Scott: whew
search for traps
2:59 PM
me: the apple does not appear to be trapped
Scott: sit chair
me: the chair is comfy. you regain 1 hp.
3:00 PM
current hp 13/20
3:01 PM
Scott: thank god
3:02 PM
use candle
me: the candle is already lit
5 minutes
3:08 PM
me: you regain 1 hp for remaining seated. current hp 14/20
16 minutes
3:25 PM
Scott: take tray
me: you recieve silver tray
3:27 PM
Scott: Look bars
me: the bars lead off to the east. it is dark down this hallway
3:28 PM
Scott: Open bars
3:30 PM
me: the bars are rusted shut
Scott: Wield GR+1 at Rusty Bars
3:31 PM
me: GR+1 bends. Rat falls off. GR+1 becomes bent spoke.
Scott: FUCK!
Go North
3:32 PM
me: there is a door
3:34 PM
Scott: search traps
me: there appears to be a bucket perched on top of the door, that
would spill its contents onto you if you passed before checking
3:36 PM
Scott: Attempt Disarm Trap without Humiliation
3:37 PM
me: you kick the door open as hard as possible, while springing backwards.
the bucket flies off the door and spills into the hallway. It is
filled with beeetles
3:38 PM
the beetles bore into the stone floor
Scott: what the....?
Check Experience
me: level 1. Exp 200/500
3:39 PM
Str 5 Int 7 Vit 4 Wil 5 Gle 5
3:40 PM
Scott: Gle?
me: Guile
Scott: I need that shit
Proceed through doorway
3:41 PM
me: the floor is marked by tiny borer beetle holes.
you reach an intersection. you may go north or east
Scott: go east
me: you reach a set of rusty bars
Scott: Equip angryface
3:42 PM
me: >_<
Scott: check experience
me: Level 1 Exp 250/500
Str 5 Int 7 Vit 4 Wil 5 Gle 5
3:45 PM
Scott: excellent
go West
3:46 PM
me: you reach an intersection
you may proceed south, or north
Scott: Go north
3:47 PM
me: you encounter ratface
ratface uses bite!
you dodge
3:48 PM
Scott: fuck
me: ratface uses moan
gate21.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/ratface-wildcatmania.jpg
Scott: equip tray
me: you cannot cast spells
tray equipped
3:49 PM
Scott: change fighting style from Brutish to Conservative
me: defensive stance activated. damage dealt and recieved reduced by 50%
Ratface attacks. you block with tray
3:50 PM
Scott: Special Attack: Fearful Pummel
biobreak.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/021109-slap-fight1.jpg
3:51 PM
me: you hit for 5,5,4,3
Ratface cowers.
Scott: Convey Disappointment
me: Ratface shrieks.
Ratface summons Dragon Lawyer
Scott: FUCK
3:52 PM
Attack Ratface
me: Dragon Lawyer readies Curing Testimony.
Critical Hit!
Scott: dammit
me: Ratface takes 15 damage.
Ratface dies
3:53 PM
Scott: yes!
me: Dragon Lawyer's testimony fizzles
Scott: idiot
me: Dragon Lawyer begins casting Death Penalty.
Scott: Cast "Late Night at the Office"
me: Dragon lawyer is fatigued. Casting time extended 400%
3:54 PM
Dragon Lawyer continues casting Death Penalty. 20% complete
Scott: Change attack style from Conservative to stupidly Aggressive
Attack Dragon Lawyer
3:55 PM
me: Stupidly aggressive stance activated. Damage increased by 200% Any
incoming damage will result in incapacitation.
Dragon Lawyer evades.
Scott: ...
Attack Dragon Lawyer
3:56 PM
me: You are joined by OBAMA!
OBAMA uses healthcare reform.
Scott: thank God. Finally
me: Dragon Lawyer is filibustered.
You gain 400 xp. Level up
Scott: Change attack style to Hopeful
me: OBAMA smiles onto you. YOU regain all hp. Choose you stat bonus
for your level.
3:57 PM
OBAMA takes your golend spoke and declates "VICOTRY FOR CONSTUTION OF
UNITED STATES"
OBAMA vanishes
Scott: ...my spoke...
Equip Slight Disappointment face
me: slight dissapointment face _
3:58 PM
while looking downward, you find a legal testimony
and a rateface's skewer
3:59 PM
Scott: Read Testimony
me: you learn leading the witness
4:00 PM
Scott: Yes!
Equip Skewer
me: skewer equipped.
Scott: GO North
4:01 PM
me: WARNING: your attack style is still set to stupidly aggressive
proceed north?
4:02 PM
Scott: Change Style to Optimistic
4:03 PM
me: Incoming damage reduced by 25% outgoing damage increased by 25%
you proceed north.
you encounter the TORTURE CHAMBER
the room is filled with various tortre implements.
there is a rack, a wheel, an iron maiden, and an iron horse.
4:04 PM
there is a inquisitor!
Scott: no
me: There is no longer an inuisitor
Scott: whew
me: you have not assigned your bonus stat point for level 2 assign now?
Scott: Assign to Guile
4:05 PM
me: current stats, Str 4, int 7 vit 4 wil 6 gle 7
your class is shifting to rogue lawyer
4:06 PM
(your beginning class was obnoxious newbie)
Scott: WHoa! What happened to my Str?
me: increasing guile decreases strength
Scott: good to know
me: increasing int decreases vit
Scott: increasing Wil is just a good idea
me: will and luck (hidden stat) are independent stats
4:07 PM
Scott: I GOTTA unlock that
me: you have luck, you just can never know what your luck score is
only the game knows
you fins several implements of torture, including a red hot iron,
brass knickles, an iron egg, and a cage full of rats
5:39 PM
Scott: take Brass Knuckles
me: you obtain brass knickles
Scott: Go North
5:40 PM
me: there is an iron door, it is slightly askew
5:41 PM
Scott: Use Peek-A-Boo
me: peek a boo fails
Scott: Fuck
Use Door
me: a bucket of borer betetles falls on your head
Scott: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
/Dance
5:42 PM
/DANCE
/DANCE
me: they begin to feast on your brain. you take 10 damage. current hp 14/25
Scott: /Wiggle
me: dance dance revolution!
you shed the borer beetles
Scott: Stomp; immediately
me: they burrow into the floor
Scott: dammit
5:43 PM
me: you gain 200 xp.
current level 2
550/800
the door reveals another room, in which there are four cages
5:44 PM
in each cage is a prisoner. in the center of the room is a MAGIC KEY
Scott: YES!
me: the key will open one cage, and then kill all of the other prisoners.
Scott: NO!
Puzzle Room
5:45 PM
me: in the cages is an old grandfatherly orc that strangely resembles
santa claus
An extremely attractive woman that somehow does not obey the rules of
eucledian geometry
herbert hoover
and the scorpion king
5:46 PM
there is a set of bars to the west
and a door to the east
Scott: Speak "Speak"
5:47 PM
me: scorpion king hisses. herbert hoover delivers a rousing speech on
the impending disasterous economic recession. the non-euclidean woman
makes impossible noises that bruise your psyche. The orc jingles his
bells
5:49 PM
Scott: Take Magic Key
WITHOUT searching for traps
me: obtained magic key\
Scott: Dangle Mgic Key
me: jangle dangle
the orc looks on, enjoying te jangling
5:50 PM
herbert hoover is not amused
scorpion king flexes his muscles
SCREECH!
Scott: hmmm
I free the Scorpion King
1:20 PM
me: The grandfatherly orc cries one trar, and ignites his jetpack,
leaving no presents behind
tear*
1:21 PM
The woman screeches again, and vanishes in a mind bending vortex.
Herbert Hoover is ousted
The scorpion king skitters to your side, and presents you with a TOME
OF ARCANE BRILLIANCE
1:22 PM
"this tome is my gift to you"
"if you prove your worth to me, I shall join your quest"
Prove your worth y/n?
1:26 PM
Scott: y
me: Scorpion king Attacks!
Scorpion King uses "Can you smell what the rock is cooking"
1:27 PM
You take 6 damage
current hp 9/25
1:31 PM
Scott: daaaaaaaaaaamn
Cast Prequel
me: The Scorpion King Ceases to Exist.
you gain 400 xp
1:32 PM
Level up!
Scott: excellent
me: 150/1200
Scott: does HP get replinished upon level up? I forget
me: Assign your bonus stat?
Yes
current stats, Str 4, int 7 vit 4 wil 6 gle 7
Scott: Vit!
1:33 PM
me: remember, increasing your vit will decrease your int!
proceed?
Scott: damn
yes
me: Current stats: Str 4 int 6 Vit 6 Wil 6 Gle 7
1:34 PM
BoNuS PoInT!~~~
Scott: kakow!
me: there is a door to the east, there is a set of bars to the west.
1:35 PM
the four cages stand empty
Scott: go to bars
1:36 PM
me: the bars are rusty, but still appear like they will swing open.
the lock is rusted through
1:37 PM
Scott: Kick Bars
me: the bars swing open violently and crash against the wall,
rebounding against you!
Guile Save!
1:38 PM
Success!
you evade the rebounding bars.
Scott: /dance
1:39 PM
me: you dance your pants off
pants lost
Scott: search for pants
me: you find pants
Scott: equip pants
me: pants equipped
1:40 PM
Scott: proceed west
me: there is a short corridor that opens into another prison room.
there are again, 4 cells. they are all locked and empty.
1:41 PM
there are bars to the north and south
16 minutes
1:57 PM
Scott: Go to North bars
1:58 PM
me: the bars appear to be rusted shut
Scott: go to South Bars
1:59 PM
me: the south bars are rusty, but appear to still be operational
2:01 PM
Scott: open bars
me: TRAP!
Scott: PART!
2:02 PM
me: A WASP STINGER stabs you in the hand
will save!
Fail!
You fall unconcious.
me: it is dark
your find a golden sprue
you*
5:13 PM
Scott: sprue?
me: the sprue looks like it came from a golden bicycle tire
5:15 PM
Scott: I pick it up
me: You obtain golden sprue
A light shines down, illuminating the room. the walls are solid rock,
there is a wooden door to the north
5:16 PM
Scott: Use sprue on solid rock
me: no effect
Scott: Use door
5:17 PM
me: the door opens, revealing a carefully carved hallway, winding to the north
Scott: walk north
me: you encounter an interection
5:18 PM
you can continue north, turn west, or turn east
Scott: Use Sprue
5:19 PM
me: no effect
Scott: Walk North
me: you encounter a rastaman!
Rastaman attacks
you suffer 3 hp of damage.
5:20 PM
curent hp 17/20
Scott: Cast Cantrip
me: Rastaman is confused
Rastaman pumps up the jams
5:22 PM
Scott: Roll to retreat
me: Dice Roll! 19! You escape
you encounter an intersection, youcan go north, west or east
5:24 PM
Scott: whew
Walk East
5:25 PM
me: the tunnel lowers, forcing you to crawl, there are rats. You can
continue east, or return west
Scott: Use Sprue on rats
5:26 PM
me: you impale a rate on the sprue.
golden sprue lost
golden rat sprue +1 obtained
5:27 PM
Scott: Equip Golden Rat Sprue +1
5:28 PM
me: item equipped
14 minutes
5:42 PM
Scott: Turn around. Walk West
time to die, Rastaman
5:43 PM
me: you reach an intersection
5:44 PM
east, west, or north
5:46 PM
oh no
you are ambushed by dragon lawyer
img.waffleimages.com/49a5050a73aabbac821c2ae632b996b2f752fc42/Dragon%20Lawyer.png
10 minutes
5:56 PM
Scott: PLEA BARGAIN!
me: Denied.
2:42 PM
Scott: yikes
me: You take 5 damage
current hp 12/20
Scott: Cast "Detect Legal Loophole"
2:43 PM
me: loophole found: exploit?
Scott: Exploit!
me: Dragon lawyer is taken aback.
2:44 PM
Dragon lawyer takes 15 damage from your codified legalese
2:45 PM
Scott: Wield Golden Rat +1
me: Dragon lawyer takes 13 damage from GR+1
Dragon Lawyer retreats.
2:46 PM
You recieve legal tome
2:47 PM
Scott: whew
Read Tome
2:48 PM
me: Intellect increases by 1. Vitality decrases by 1
2:50 PM
Scott: continue east
2:54 PM
me: the tunnell opens into a large room. there is a candle, a silver
tray, and an apple on a table. there is one chair. a door is to the
north and bars to the east
2:57 PM
Scott: Take apple
me: you recieve apple
Scott: whew
search for traps
2:59 PM
me: the apple does not appear to be trapped
Scott: sit chair
me: the chair is comfy. you regain 1 hp.
3:00 PM
current hp 13/20
3:01 PM
Scott: thank god
3:02 PM
use candle
me: the candle is already lit
5 minutes
3:08 PM
me: you regain 1 hp for remaining seated. current hp 14/20
16 minutes
3:25 PM
Scott: take tray
me: you recieve silver tray
3:27 PM
Scott: Look bars
me: the bars lead off to the east. it is dark down this hallway
3:28 PM
Scott: Open bars
3:30 PM
me: the bars are rusted shut
Scott: Wield GR+1 at Rusty Bars
3:31 PM
me: GR+1 bends. Rat falls off. GR+1 becomes bent spoke.
Scott: FUCK!
Go North
3:32 PM
me: there is a door
3:34 PM
Scott: search traps
me: there appears to be a bucket perched on top of the door, that
would spill its contents onto you if you passed before checking
3:36 PM
Scott: Attempt Disarm Trap without Humiliation
3:37 PM
me: you kick the door open as hard as possible, while springing backwards.
the bucket flies off the door and spills into the hallway. It is
filled with beeetles
3:38 PM
the beetles bore into the stone floor
Scott: what the....?
Check Experience
me: level 1. Exp 200/500
3:39 PM
Str 5 Int 7 Vit 4 Wil 5 Gle 5
3:40 PM
Scott: Gle?
me: Guile
Scott: I need that shit
Proceed through doorway
3:41 PM
me: the floor is marked by tiny borer beetle holes.
you reach an intersection. you may go north or east
Scott: go east
me: you reach a set of rusty bars
Scott: Equip angryface
3:42 PM
me: >_<
Scott: check experience
me: Level 1 Exp 250/500
Str 5 Int 7 Vit 4 Wil 5 Gle 5
3:45 PM
Scott: excellent
go West
3:46 PM
me: you reach an intersection
you may proceed south, or north
Scott: Go north
3:47 PM
me: you encounter ratface
ratface uses bite!
you dodge
3:48 PM
Scott: fuck
me: ratface uses moan
gate21.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/ratface-wildcatmania.jpg
Scott: equip tray
me: you cannot cast spells
tray equipped
3:49 PM
Scott: change fighting style from Brutish to Conservative
me: defensive stance activated. damage dealt and recieved reduced by 50%
Ratface attacks. you block with tray
3:50 PM
Scott: Special Attack: Fearful Pummel
biobreak.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/021109-slap-fight1.jpg
3:51 PM
me: you hit for 5,5,4,3
Ratface cowers.
Scott: Convey Disappointment
me: Ratface shrieks.
Ratface summons Dragon Lawyer
Scott: FUCK
3:52 PM
Attack Ratface
me: Dragon Lawyer readies Curing Testimony.
Critical Hit!
Scott: dammit
me: Ratface takes 15 damage.
Ratface dies
3:53 PM
Scott: yes!
me: Dragon Lawyer's testimony fizzles
Scott: idiot
me: Dragon Lawyer begins casting Death Penalty.
Scott: Cast "Late Night at the Office"
me: Dragon lawyer is fatigued. Casting time extended 400%
3:54 PM
Dragon Lawyer continues casting Death Penalty. 20% complete
Scott: Change attack style from Conservative to stupidly Aggressive
Attack Dragon Lawyer
3:55 PM
me: Stupidly aggressive stance activated. Damage increased by 200% Any
incoming damage will result in incapacitation.
Dragon Lawyer evades.
Scott: ...
Attack Dragon Lawyer
3:56 PM
me: You are joined by OBAMA!
OBAMA uses healthcare reform.
Scott: thank God. Finally
me: Dragon Lawyer is filibustered.
You gain 400 xp. Level up
Scott: Change attack style to Hopeful
me: OBAMA smiles onto you. YOU regain all hp. Choose you stat bonus
for your level.
3:57 PM
OBAMA takes your golend spoke and declates "VICOTRY FOR CONSTUTION OF
UNITED STATES"
OBAMA vanishes
Scott: ...my spoke...
Equip Slight Disappointment face
me: slight dissapointment face _
3:58 PM
while looking downward, you find a legal testimony
and a rateface's skewer
3:59 PM
Scott: Read Testimony
me: you learn leading the witness
4:00 PM
Scott: Yes!
Equip Skewer
me: skewer equipped.
Scott: GO North
4:01 PM
me: WARNING: your attack style is still set to stupidly aggressive
proceed north?
4:02 PM
Scott: Change Style to Optimistic
4:03 PM
me: Incoming damage reduced by 25% outgoing damage increased by 25%
you proceed north.
you encounter the TORTURE CHAMBER
the room is filled with various tortre implements.
there is a rack, a wheel, an iron maiden, and an iron horse.
4:04 PM
there is a inquisitor!
Scott: no
me: There is no longer an inuisitor
Scott: whew
me: you have not assigned your bonus stat point for level 2 assign now?
Scott: Assign to Guile
4:05 PM
me: current stats, Str 4, int 7 vit 4 wil 6 gle 7
your class is shifting to rogue lawyer
4:06 PM
(your beginning class was obnoxious newbie)
Scott: WHoa! What happened to my Str?
me: increasing guile decreases strength
Scott: good to know
me: increasing int decreases vit
Scott: increasing Wil is just a good idea
me: will and luck (hidden stat) are independent stats
4:07 PM
Scott: I GOTTA unlock that
me: you have luck, you just can never know what your luck score is
only the game knows
you fins several implements of torture, including a red hot iron,
brass knickles, an iron egg, and a cage full of rats
5:39 PM
Scott: take Brass Knuckles
me: you obtain brass knickles
Scott: Go North
5:40 PM
me: there is an iron door, it is slightly askew
5:41 PM
Scott: Use Peek-A-Boo
me: peek a boo fails
Scott: Fuck
Use Door
me: a bucket of borer betetles falls on your head
Scott: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
/Dance
5:42 PM
/DANCE
/DANCE
me: they begin to feast on your brain. you take 10 damage. current hp 14/25
Scott: /Wiggle
me: dance dance revolution!
you shed the borer beetles
Scott: Stomp; immediately
me: they burrow into the floor
Scott: dammit
5:43 PM
me: you gain 200 xp.
current level 2
550/800
the door reveals another room, in which there are four cages
5:44 PM
in each cage is a prisoner. in the center of the room is a MAGIC KEY
Scott: YES!
me: the key will open one cage, and then kill all of the other prisoners.
Scott: NO!
Puzzle Room
5:45 PM
me: in the cages is an old grandfatherly orc that strangely resembles
santa claus
An extremely attractive woman that somehow does not obey the rules of
eucledian geometry
herbert hoover
and the scorpion king
5:46 PM
there is a set of bars to the west
and a door to the east
Scott: Speak "Speak"
5:47 PM
me: scorpion king hisses. herbert hoover delivers a rousing speech on
the impending disasterous economic recession. the non-euclidean woman
makes impossible noises that bruise your psyche. The orc jingles his
bells
5:49 PM
Scott: Take Magic Key
WITHOUT searching for traps
me: obtained magic key\
Scott: Dangle Mgic Key
me: jangle dangle
the orc looks on, enjoying te jangling
5:50 PM
herbert hoover is not amused
scorpion king flexes his muscles
SCREECH!
Scott: hmmm
I free the Scorpion King
1:20 PM
me: The grandfatherly orc cries one trar, and ignites his jetpack,
leaving no presents behind
tear*
1:21 PM
The woman screeches again, and vanishes in a mind bending vortex.
Herbert Hoover is ousted
The scorpion king skitters to your side, and presents you with a TOME
OF ARCANE BRILLIANCE
1:22 PM
"this tome is my gift to you"
"if you prove your worth to me, I shall join your quest"
Prove your worth y/n?
1:26 PM
Scott: y
me: Scorpion king Attacks!
Scorpion King uses "Can you smell what the rock is cooking"
1:27 PM
You take 6 damage
current hp 9/25
1:31 PM
Scott: daaaaaaaaaaamn
Cast Prequel
me: The Scorpion King Ceases to Exist.
you gain 400 xp
1:32 PM
Level up!
Scott: excellent
me: 150/1200
Scott: does HP get replinished upon level up? I forget
me: Assign your bonus stat?
Yes
current stats, Str 4, int 7 vit 4 wil 6 gle 7
Scott: Vit!
1:33 PM
me: remember, increasing your vit will decrease your int!
proceed?
Scott: damn
yes
me: Current stats: Str 4 int 6 Vit 6 Wil 6 Gle 7
1:34 PM
BoNuS PoInT!~~~
Scott: kakow!
me: there is a door to the east, there is a set of bars to the west.
1:35 PM
the four cages stand empty
Scott: go to bars
1:36 PM
me: the bars are rusty, but still appear like they will swing open.
the lock is rusted through
1:37 PM
Scott: Kick Bars
me: the bars swing open violently and crash against the wall,
rebounding against you!
Guile Save!
1:38 PM
Success!
you evade the rebounding bars.
Scott: /dance
1:39 PM
me: you dance your pants off
pants lost
Scott: search for pants
me: you find pants
Scott: equip pants
me: pants equipped
1:40 PM
Scott: proceed west
me: there is a short corridor that opens into another prison room.
there are again, 4 cells. they are all locked and empty.
1:41 PM
there are bars to the north and south
16 minutes
1:57 PM
Scott: Go to North bars
1:58 PM
me: the bars appear to be rusted shut
Scott: go to South Bars
1:59 PM
me: the south bars are rusty, but appear to still be operational
2:01 PM
Scott: open bars
me: TRAP!
Scott: PART!
2:02 PM
me: A WASP STINGER stabs you in the hand
will save!
Fail!
You fall unconcious.