reconsidering public school (tags Jonah, any)

[Saint Juarez]

The morning had been more difficult than he had thought it would be. Coco didn’t know her way to any of his classes, so Lia and Jandro took turns helping him show her the way. Saint found it pretty amazing that she could remember so much. The brown malamute never seemed to forget a location she was taught.

She was a huge help, but she drew attention, something Saint was very sensitive to at the moment. All morning he could sense eyes on him and how conversations would fade when he entered a room. He had dressed almost normally for the first time in years, but it still didn’t help to camouflage him. Of course the white cane and dark glasses didn’t help either.

Saint hadn’t seen Jonah either and he was a bit worried about him. The weekend had seemed to go well and that had given him hope that maybe at some point they might develop into something more than patient and assistant. To his rather paranoid frame of mind this meant that the other boy might have reconsidered the arrangement which would put him in constant proximity with someone that at best could be considered handicapped or at worst a freak, neither of which could be considered good for the rep.

Entering the cafeteria with Lia and Coco, Saint was almost overwhelmed by the sensory input and had to fight the urge to flee and vomit. “Wait a moment, Li,” he said weakly and tried to breath slowly to get his composure back. This meant that he was blocking the door for a few moments and he almost jumped when someone said, “Excuse me,” and tried to get past him. Coco barked in protest and Saint tried to calm her even as he tried to move out of the way. It was too much for him though and he ended up tripping over his guide dog and landing on his tuckus, his dark glasses flying away from him revealing his startling light blue eyes.

[nu]

Jonah woke up slightly disorientated. He forgot where he was and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. The clankering outside the room he was in was slightly familiar and reminded him of his...father. Damn it, he was at home.

He turned to his left and the green lights on his clock blared he was late. He scrambled to get up and immediately regretted it when the pounding in his head felt unbearable. He shook it off and forced himself to move and within minutes, he was showered and changed as he remembered why he was suddenly in a rush. First day as Saint's help. The weekend at his house went a bit awkwardly but at least he got Jandro to not hate him too much. And Lily seemed to like him at least so he was fine. He still felt like a paid help, which he actually quite literally was but still...it just felt awkward to be friends with the people who was paying him.

Quickly, he rushed to school and regretted not getting any earlier when he saw Saint on the floor on his back. "Damn it," Jonah cursed before running to the entrance alerted Saint to his presence as not to startle him. "It's me, Jonah. Santos...I'm here." He said softly as he helped Saint up, pulling him and bringing him to the wall to prop him up against it. "Hey...hey are you okay?"

[Saint Juarez]

Saint was ashamed of the relief that rushed through him at the sound of Jonah's voice. He had felt like a settler that was surrounded by Indians and he had heard the sound of the cavalry bugle. "I just want to get out of here," he whispered. He had been on the floor forever it seemed while it seemed likely people were either staring at him in horror or even more likely, could have cared less.

"We could go to the Art Room, that's my next class. I have lost my appetite," Saint said, though he hadn't been that hungry to begin with. Some people eat more when they are upset, Saint was the opposite. He was looking practically gaunt at the moment. He tried, but had been unable to force himself to eat very well for the last week.

The art room both drew and repelled him. He had loved art since his first box of crayons, but now it represented all he had lost. He wanted to give in to his weakness and cry on Jonah's shoulder, but he refrained stiffening up instead. He would get through this, hopefully with no more embarrassment.

[Jonah Finn]

Jonah held Saint close to him as he picked up the stick and kept Coco at bay. As he straightened Saint up, he nodded when Saint told him that he wanted to leave. Jonah didn't blame him. People were staring and if Jonah can remember correctly, blind people can easily sense when things or people are staring straight at them. So Jonah's new friend had to be uncomfortable.

When suggested they should go to the Art Room, Jonah nodded and stopped himself mid way. Stupid, Saint could not see. Jonah cleared his throat. "Yeah, of course." He said before moving off in the direction of the Art Room. He was surprised he could actually remember the direction to the Art Room even.

The stares they got from the other students emitted a growl from the trio, although Jonah could not for the life of him distinguish between his and Coco's. What was wrong with these people? It was as though they had never seen a blind person before.

"Get a move on, jerks. He is blind not retarded." Jonah snarled at the on-lookers who immediately turned away from the pair and the dog. Throwing stern death glares at anyone else who dared look their way.

Finally arriving, Jonah nudged the door open without letting Saint go for a second. As Jonah gently guided Saint through the room, he chose the seat right at the back and wondered if he should stay. He had changed his schedule so he had the same classes as Saint. It would be much easier for Jonah to keep an eye on Saint that way.

[Saint Juarez]

Saint did his best to relax and let Jonah guide him. He was feeling the greatest freak on west coast by the time they reached the art room. He had always tried to be different before he was blind, but now being noticed was horrifying to him.

“I don’t even know why I bother coming. I can’t be an artist anymore. Even if I could remember where I was on the paper, I can’t see what I am supposed to be drawing,” Saint whispered, the words almost dragged from his lips. He had promised his mother he would give school at least a month before he even considered dropping out.

Saint groped until he found Jonah’s hand. “I am sorry, you don’t want to hear me whining all the time,” he said, his tone depressed. He resolved to himself that he wouldn’t talk about it anymore, no matter how much it weighed upon his mind.

“Jonah… can I touch your face? I want to see if I can tell what you look like with my fingertips,” he asked, glad they were alone still in the art room.

[Saint Juarez]

Saint's request took Jonah by surprise and slowly, the teenager sat down and moved the chair closer to Saint and pulled his hand up to his face. "Excuse the zits." Jonah attempted to joke. It felt slightly weird to have another boy touch his face but Saint's hand was warm.

Saint was nervous as well, his hands trembling as his fingers moved over the smooth skin of Jonah's face. If there were pimples, Saint couldn't feel them. He took his time, it was harder than he would've thought before, but he began to get an image of what Jonah must look like. "What color is your eyes and hair? Skin tone?" he was tempted to search out body build but he had the feeling it wouldn't be good as he would get a reaction he wouldn't be able to take care of in school.

The smooth graze of Saint's fingers made goose bumps travel fast up his jacketed arms and exposed neck. He could feel his cheeks heat up and for a second, he had to concentrate really hard on what Saint was asking. It took him a long time to process the question. He had to clear his throat plenty of times before he could answer. "D-dark brown...same with my hair and...um...skin tone? I don't...well I'm white. I think..."

"Pure white? like me... my skin is so pale its almost blue or do you have a tan?"Saint asked, intent on finalizing the mental picture. He could feel heat prickling against his finger tips. "Is this bothering you, I can stop if you are uncomfortable.

Jonah's hand flew up and held Saint's hands up on his face, blushing even more. "No...please just leave it there. I...it's okay." He grinned before dropping his hand. "Well...I'm darker than you I'm guessing. Not tan...just not so white..."

Saint smiled. "No one is as white as me, I think. All I need is pink eyes and stop dying my hair and I would be an albino," he said truthfully. It was one of the reasons he dyed his hair, He had gotten really tired of being called Frosty while growing up. "I really wish I had met you before this happened. I have photographic memory but I had to have seen it first."

"I don't think you'd want to have met me before all this." Jonah shook his head, pulling Saint's hand down and holding it down on his lap. "I'm not such a pleasant person to be around with, actually..."

"I remember," Saint said with a laugh remembering Jonah tossing his food at him and asking if he was blind. "I don't mind, we get along okay, unless its just because you're getting paid to be nice to me?"