This ain't a song for the brokenhearted (ATTN: DJ)

[Trixie Michaels]

(OOC: First i must give Bon Jovi credit for the title of the thread...I am in an odd Bon Jovi mood and for some reason I had to use that line for the title of the thread)

Trixie had been saved by Zach. Thank god for him or else things could have been way worse. Trixie had been scared. Very scared. Q had reminded her of earlier times. He shook her to the core with his attack. Bruises were forming on her arms. She tried to cover them, but she had no jacket and her sleeves were too short. Trixie had ended up in the bathroom during first period trying not to panic, but she did end up crying and it took a lot to make her cry. Trixie had avoided Jay and DJ for the most part of the morning. It was easy when you were not in the same classes as your boyfriend and it was easy for her to avoid Jay.

Trixie went to her locker to exchange books. She needed to hurry before DJ came around the corner. She was holding on by a thread before she lost it emotionally. All those hidden feelings were coming up. Plus Q did not seem to be done with her. Although Trixie could take care of herself, she was still scared. What if he did exceed? What if he got to her? Trixie was not sure she could handle another brutal attack. For now she would just take it one day at a time. She could do this. She could be stronger then this. Yet even the ice queen could have her cage rattled.

Trixie closed her locker and turned to see DJ coming her way. She locked eyes with him. Her disheveled appearance, and the bruises had to be noticeable to him. Trixie gulped and turned to walk the other way. She was praying he did not see the bruises or notice how she looked, but that was not the case cause she did not get far before she felt strong arms engulf her. "Hey you. Where have you been? You hiding from me?" Trixie said attempting to keep the subject light and fun.

[D.J. Mac]

DJ couldn't concentrate on his morning classes. His thoughts were with Trixie, and how was she surviving the attack. The morning classes wouldn't end soon enough for him, just so her could smother her with love.

As soon as the bell rang, DJ was off like a shot, weaving through the clusters of kids in the hall. There were a few saying things like "Nice face kick!" and referring to the morning incident. He just sort of waved them down trying to get to his girl. He saw her in the hall, looking like hell.

He called out to her. "Trixie! Trixie!!" And there was one of three things going on, 1) she couldn't hear him, 2) She was pissed at him for not being there to prevent the attack or 3) She didn't want to see him at that moment. He hoped to dear god that it was one or three. He ran to catch up to her.

His massive arms wrapped around her gently, holding her close. He sighed deeply as she spoke. "I've been worried about you all day sweetness." He whispered in her ear. His eyes cast downward, he saw the bruises. "Trix, did he do this to you?"

[Trixie Michaels]

The sweetness and the hug was not helping. She needed him to scream and yell at her, saying how could she be so stupid? why was she even near him? How could she let him touch her? Because right now that what she was saying to herself. She should have been smarter and the moment she saw Q she should have ran and not tempted him like she did. Trixie should have known better. Then again that was the same excuse she used when he dad beat...she should have known better.

Trixie hugged DJ back because the warmth of his body helped the shivering she was feeling. A reaction she had when scared. She would shiver. Not outwardly but inwardly she would shiver and she couldn't stop. it happened when she got scared. Anyone, who touched her could feel the shaking, such as DJ, cause she was shivering in his arms.

"It's not as bad as it looks. Zach showed up before he could do anything, because he was just having a stupid complex cause I said no. I bet he learned his lesson." Trixie said trying to deflect. her defense mechanism coming up. She did not want to seem weak, even if that's how she felt right now. She just wanted to move on, but in reality she was not going to be able to move on...the idea and thoughts where in her head. It had taken her back to a time she had tried to forget and that was not something that just went away.

[D.J. Mac]

DJ could feel Trixie shaking like a leaf. "Don't move ok, just stay here in my arms." DJ spoke trying to keep her calm. "I should have been here earlier, then nothing would have happened." He felt like he was to blame.

He stroked her hair for a bit. "I will make sure from here on out that nothing will happen to you, I promise." Words that he would live by until the day he died.

DJ gave her the knowing look. "Trixie, your bruises are like mine." He didn't want to yell at her, that wouldn't solve anything. "What did that monster do to you? Please, talk to me. I want to try and fix things or at least fix what I can."

Why was she putting up the wall again? After what they had gone through together, one would think she's want the closeness. He kept the same look on his face. "Trix, please tell me the truth. If not for my own sanity then for your own." This was tearing him apart inside, he wanted to make the amends where he could.

[Trixie Michaels]

The wall was automatic when it came to this. It was something DJ only knew half the story about. he knew about the rituals, the beatings and the death of her father, but he had no idea bout...about the touching. Trixie shook some more as the idea came to her head. She did not even want to think about it. The reason she acted out sexually was tied to the touching, or so said her therapist...before she stopped going. Trixie had dealt with it, but she had not actually forgiven or forgotten which was a huge part.

Trixie wrapped her arms tightly around DJ. She held him so tight, tighter then she ever held anyone. The look on his face was killing her. Breaking down that wall. He had helped her when she was shot, he had accepted her past, and he had put up with her crap and her brother....he had been there when she needed him...

Tears threatened to fall. "Fine but not here, please.." Begging was not her strong suit, but this was a beg. Trixie laced DJ's fingers in hers and pulled him through the hallways. She did not speak. She did not say one word she just led him to the parking lot. She took him to her car and motioned for him to get in. It was her turn to drive and she said nothing as she drove them to her house. Trixie was silent all the way.

Finally she got to her grandmother's Beverly Hills home. The old lady was not there and she motioned for DJ to follow her inside. This was the only place she knew they could talk..and yes just talk...and no one could hear. "You cannot protect me every minute of everyday.." She started. "He um..grabbed me..pushed me against the locker...kissed me...thats when Zach showed up..so nothing else happened..." Just saying the words grabbed me..kissme..threw me against..brought back the memories she had been suppressing and with that Trixie broke down crying for once since the night her father died.

[D.J. Mac]

DJ knew was something was going on. Trixie was being quiet and felt like she was clinging to him for dear life. He didn't speak a word but just let her hold onto him for as long as she needed or wanted to.

He nodded gently, taking her hand and letting her lead through the throngs of students that had filled the hall. He could feel the stares of them, some that had praise others that despised him. He felt guilty, his thoughts were how Trixie must be feeling right now. He went with her to her car, still puzzled by what was going on in her mind. He got in as she motioned him to and fastened the seat belt. He looked at her as she drove. "Trix, please say something, anything, it scares me when someone clams up like this." But there was no response from her, just ice cold silence.

Until they arrived at her place.

Trixie explained what happened and DJ could see this was not easy for her. Seeing the tears flow from her eyes, gave him a lump in his throat. He held her tightly.

"Let it out babe. Let the anger you feel fall from you. I'm right here for you."

[Trixie Michaels]

Trixie just leaned into his hold. She had kept so much inside for so long it was bound to come out. She had pushed it away, but never forgotten it. Hell besides Jay only three other people knew about her dad and the touching...her mom...Nate and he ex counselor. Whom she stopped seeing right after she told the Counselor. It was not something she choose to deal with. it was better left forgotten until Q decided to set his eyes on Trixie.

Trixie held her arms close to her body as DJ held her. His grip just made her feels safe at the moment. What happened had not scared so much as brought back memories she thought she had buried. Trixie was breaking down. Things were coming to the surface. Things DJ should not have to deal with. So she had two choices. Tell him to get lost and go back into the cocoon she had built, or let him in...let someone finally in...

Trixie knew she did not love DJ...they had just met, but the connection she felt was strong. What they had been through made her feel safe with him. From the teasing, to the one night, to him finding out the truth, to the fighting, to him saving her the other night, to this. These things built a connection. So did she attempt to break that connection, or finally tell a long hidden truth. It should be a no brainier, but it was hard.

Once Trixie finally stopped crying, and took a deep breath. She whipped her eyes and looked up at DJ. she could not burden him with the truth...it was not right...so she decided, but it hurt so much to even think about telling him to go away and never come back. She decided to tell him to get lost, cause it was easier to protect her self, she opened her mouth and a completely different set of words come out.

"I have something to tell you..." Were the words that came out. Apparently she thought one way, but her heart wanted another and her heart won. "Umm my um..." She took a deep breath to finally speak. Trixie pushed D slightly back so she could pace like she did when she was nervous. "my dad did not just beat me...he...touched me too."

[D.J. Mac]

DJ did the right thing. He just sat there comforting someone in need at the moment. Nothing had to be said, nothing to be done. When Trixie was ready to talk, she would do it.

What ever had happened had truly traumatized her to the nth degree. He didn't dare ask if there was more, it had that feeling there was.

He cared too much for Trixie to let anything come between them. She may not admit it or want to admit it but there was something there. No regular girl would have put up this front or keep going on with the whole game that she was playing.

When she finally looked up at him, there was some ease but only slightly. He had no idea what was in store next. He brushed her cheeks gently, wiping away the stray tears that had fallen.

He swallowed, she had something to say. 'She's going to send me away!' he thought to himself, trying to think of the positive, which seemed more bleak especially when she pushed him away.

She had been touched. This idea made DJ's blood boil. "I can't blame you for that, you were a child when it happened," DJ felt his voice raise to a slight roar. "He knew what he was doing!"

[Trixie Michaels]

Trixie just looked at DJ. She blinked several times. "You mean you don't...find that...your not going to...." She was honestly shocked. She was sure he would have run out the door telling her she was dirty and sick. Thats how she felt after it happened. Dirty, ashamed, sick, like something was wrong with her. Was this guy for real though? He was really willing to stand by her....he still wanted her?

That was such a foreign concept to Trixie. Actually being wanted for more then what he could do in the bedroom. This was the first boyfriend she had ever even told. God, was he truly the best guy ever. Which actually kind of scared Trixie at the same time. What happened if she lost him? For now she could not think like that. She just eyed him and shook her head, "You are something else you know that....not many guys would handle it like you did...."

It warmed her ice queen heart. Of course it was only warmed for him, she was not going to be nice just because she was having a weak moment. She might be nicer to DJ, but everyone else still got the ice queen, she could not just turn that off. Trixie places a hand on DJ's face and leaned up to place her forehead against his, "You need to stop being so great....I hate you remember." A smiled was tact playfully onto her words. She far from hated this man, but saying the other words, was not going to happen just yet.

[D.J. Mac]

"Yes what happened was sick and perverted but I can't blame you. You were only a child when it happened, he made you think it was the right thing to do." He stroked her hair and smiled softly as Trixie.

The fact that he was still there had taken Trixie by surprise. "I knew there was more than what you were telling me. I figured it had to be big so I braced myself for whatever it was." He licked his lips slightly. "Besides what kind of guy would I be if I ran screaming for the hills?"

"Hearing your story sort of helped me reach a decision for my life, and I don't want to see anyone go through what you did, so I decided I'm going to be a police officer. Maybe I can help get people who act the way your father did off the streets." He held her tiny hands in his. "I know you hate me, and you just love every minute of it!" He gave her a playful wink. He gently pulled her down on top of him. "Gee, I'm trapped, what shall we do now?"