Waiting, endless Waiting (tags Jonah, open)

[Saint Juarez]

When the last bell rang, Saint remained in his seat in his American Lit classroom. Just like every other day, he worried that Jonah had forgotten about him or met someone else who wasn't so helpless. He felt that he was adjusting really slowly to his blindness and it frustrated him. Now he was having to concentrate merely on necessities when he wanted to be exploring his new relationship with Jonah and if there were any artistic possibilities he might be able to try out to see if he could manage with his limitations.

Saint's thin fingers absentmindedly sifted through Coco's thick fur as he waited for the arrival of his assistant, the young man who had completely taken his heart in his hands. His other hand held a pencil and he doodled on a page of his notebook. He had microrecorder on order for his notes, but it had not arrived yet. With the voice enhanced computer he had just received he would be able to download his class transcripts into it to help him with his studies. He also had a subscription to a sight that had books recorded while he waited for his braille reader. He wished he could continue with the recorded ones, but he was assured by his caseworker that he would be able to read braille much more quickly than listening to those tapes, though it seemed hardly possible.

His ears were strained to hear anyone approaching. Saint was not the most patient of people at the best of times and this was not one of those times. He had been harassed several times that day by people that were unsympathetic with his family's part in the shootings.

[Jonah Finn]

Fighting his way through the crowded hall, Jonah cursed the living daylights out of whoever reported to the principal of his previous indiscretions. He'd been trying to sober up the past few days because of Saint and just the second day back to school Jonah was already in trouble. Like it wasn't enough that he had done wrong by Saint twice already.

Finally, he was in their American Lit classroom and thankfully Saint was still there with Coco who perked up when she saw Jonah. Putting a finger to his lips to make the dog keep quiet, Jonah walked in and with closer inspection found that Saint was kind of sketching. How that was possible, Jonah didn't know. Then again there were a lot of things Jonah had yet to learn about Saint.

Jonah's heart started pumping wildly when he realised what Saint was sketching. It was his face...well sort of. But it was close enough. If Jonah didn't know any better, he would have thought that Saint had been able to see his face clear as day in the first place but...it couldn't be. Saint was truly and remarkably talented and Jonah was experiencing it firsthand.

"It's me," Jonah whispered before sliding a hand up Saint's face to pull it up. Taking off Saint's glasses, Jonah cupped the other's boy face in both his hands before pressing his lips on to his forehead softly before moving down to his lips. "Do you know what you're drawing?" Jonah asked in a low tone as he scratched Coco behind her ears. He couldn't keep his eyes off the drawing.

Saint blinked. He couldn't see, but the sudden light from the lifting of his glasses, still affected him. He sighed and closed his eyes as Jonah's firm lips moved down his pale face. Liquid desire raced through his veins making him flush pink. "Drawing? I was just doodling," he murmured, wondering what his scribbles had ended up as this time. Usually it was something that had been on his mind for a while.

"Are you ready to go Jonah? I really would like to get away from here and you are driving me crazy with that scent. What is it?" Saint asked breathlessly. His head was spinning and it was all he could do not to pull his lover's shirt off right there and then.

"Your doodles are amazing, Santos." He couldn't quite get the nerve to tell Saint what he had been doodling. It was a bit too personal for Jonah. So he kept quiet about it and smiled when he noticed the blush creeping up Saint's very pale face. Brushing Saint's cheeks lightly with his thumb, Jonah placed a kiss on each cheek for as long as he felt like it. As much as he hated the fact, he felt that he was becoming a bit too needy with Saint and each kiss was like fire heating his whole body up and he needed more of it.

"Yeah...we can go." Jonah helped Saint up and whistled for Coco to follow. "Scent?" He took a whiff of himself and shrugged. He wasn't sure what his boyfriend was talking about. "Maybe anger. I don't know. I got called in the office for my smoking joints behind school. Didn't do it today. Had you to take care of...wouldn't want to jeopardise that but...I don't want to talk about it. Your day must have been sufficiently better than mine...right?"

"Yeah... it was great," Saint said doing his best to keep the bitterness from his voice. "Just the same old shit." The frustration of doing geometry without seeing the shapes they were working with, lifting weights instead of volleyball with the rest of the class (Saint wasn't sure he had the same number of muscles as the rest of his species) and hating art when he felt so helpless; then there was the joy of Jorges DeSales friends pushing him around in the hallways. Coco tried to protect him but they didn't attack him so much as pretend to bump into him over and over again.

Saint leaned against Jonah, pressing his face into his belly. He sniffed deeply, inhaling the other boy's scent. "I think it is the soap, but it never smells so good on me, you're just yummy," he said and pulled himself up, sliding up the firm body. He didn't need support so much as he liked to tease Jonah who found it so easy to enflame him.

Jonah wasn't the most perceptive person in the world but even he knew that Saint wasn't entirely truthful but he didn't call him on it. Instead, all his thought were scrambled when Saint buried his face into his stomach. The sensation was incredible and he couldn't stop himself from moaning. "Damn it, Santos..." he whispered raggedly only to take in a sharp breath when the other boy deliberately slid himself up against Jonah. "Not cool." He said with a nervous chuckle.

As both gained their balance, Jonah slid his hand in Saint's and started walking out of the school. He noticed some boys looking over and he grimaced. Homophobic comments were thrown in their way and before long, Jonah had slammed one of them into a nearby locker. A stream of colourful language flew out of his mouth and before he knew it, he was being dragged back by a couple of other boys who pushed him back to Saint.

Containing his anger, Jonah pulled Saint and Coco ahead a bit too roughly to get away from it. "Assholes." He grumbled, straightening the zip-up hoodie he was wearing.

The comments had Saint shrinking within himself, but the fighting was far worse. He felt so helpless and worried about Jonah. His nerves became so tightly wired that he was afraid he would start hyperventilating. As he tripped along behind Jonah, he couldn't seem to catch his balance and when he reached the curb he didn't hear Coco's bark and the next thing he knew was that he was flat on his face in the driveway. Coco began barking loudly at a car that was approaching and squealed to a stop just next to Saint's foot.

Everything happened way too fast and Jonah felt like killing himself when Saint fell down and almost got hit by a car. The driver came out and started shouting at Jonah who shouted back as he pulled Saint up and then led him a safe distance away from the car and went back to his shouting match with the driver. It didn't take him long to finally give in and apologise but being Jonah, he did it rather begrudgingly.

He went back to Saint who was shivering. Apologising to him profusely, he wondered if this was the moment Saint realised he never wanted anything to do with the other dark haired male. "Santos...I...I'm sorry. I haven't been the best assistant...maybe I shouldn't be...you deserve a better one." Jonah said softly, careful not to touch Saint. "I'll send you home and tell your mother I can no longer work for you...I'm not the most suitable guy for you."

Saint clung to Jonah still trembling, but it wasn't because of his near death experience anymore. "Jonah, you can't leave me. You promised you never would again. You promised..." his voice became more and more strained until he was obviously desperate. Saint was terrified and Coco leaped on them trying to cheer his master up with licks and woofs. He knew he wouldn't survive without his boyfriend. There would be nothing to keep him going without the incentive to be with the boy he loved. Lia had accused him that morning of not trying harder to become independent, so he could keep Jonah with them longer.

Jonah could never leave Saint, of course he couldn't. But what he had done in rage had almost resulted in Saint's death. Jonah didn't want a repeat of this and he was scared that could happen at any time. What if the next time, the driver couldn't stop on time? Saint could be gone...no Jonah refused to think about it. Instead, he gathered Saint up in his arms and rocked him back and forth. "Don't hate me Santos. I know I promised. Just don't hate me...And I'm so sorry. So sorry..." He closed his eyes and held on to his boyfriend tightly.

Saint didn't really understand any of it. All he knew was Jonah was leaving and he had nothing left to live for. "I could never hate you, Jonah. There's nothing to be sorry about. It was a mistake. I am all right now. I wasn't hurt, but I will never recover if you leave me," he said sobbing. "Leave me if you can't stand me, but don't leave to protect me, cause there will be nothing left protect if you do that."

"I'll never not stand you, Santos." Jonah shook his head, frowning. "Never felt this way for another person like this..." He let go of Saint and caressed his cheeks softly. "No more talk of leaving...and I'm still sorry for being an idiot. We should go home now..."

Picking Saint up and calling for Coco to follow them, they took their time walking back home. Jonah soon felt Saint relax again and his hold on the blind boy loosened but not too loose. "You hungry?"

Saint hadn't felt hungry for over two weeks now, not since lunchtime had changed his life so drastically. He only ate enough to keep going and had to sneak the rest to Coco who got rid of the evidence of his not eating. He didn't want to say no though, in case Jonah was hungry. "Sure, want to go to Cicciolini's for Italian?" He thought maybe he might actually eat if he got a whiff of their wonderful food.

"Anything you want." Jonah nodded and patted his jeans pockets to see if he did in fact have his money. The rest of the journey to the Italian restaurant was spent trying to avoid what had happened. Jonah felt the strain finally disappear when they arrived at the shop. Grabbing a seat near the back, he asked for a spinach and goat cheese pizza just because he felt like it and waited for Saint to order. He took Saint's hand from under the table and soothingly started to run his thumb back and forth on the soft skin.

[Jonah Finn]

Cicciolini's was Saint's favorite restaurant so he found that he really was rather hungry once they were seated with a basket of garlic knots. He ordered himself a coke and an order of chicken and mushroom stuffed shells with alfredo sauce. "You don't need to pay, Jonah. I have two weeks worth of allowance from my dad. Haven't really felt like buying art supplies or anything except a box of treats for Coco." He felt kind of funny making the other boy pay for him. He knew how much he was paid and even with room and board he felt it wasn't enough since he basically cared for him 24 hours a day.

Grabbing one piece of bread from the basket, Jonah squeezed Saint's hand. "Anything you want, Santos. Now open wide. I'm not leaving here until I get something in you." He smiled, making sure Saint heard that he was joking.

He had noticed that Saint hadn't been eating as of late. He was already skinny to begin with so Jonah had been trying to make him eat at least something every day, even if it was a spoonful of pudding. He hadn't taken care of someone he loved dearly so it seemed a bit weird to him and completely foreign but it felt nice to know that he had the ability to make someone else feel better, even if it is just temporary.

Saint blushed but opened his mouth and took a bite of the buttery-garlic roll that Jonah pressed against his lips. He hadn't thought anyone had noticed that he hadn't been eating much, but then it wasn't like he could see when people were watching him or not. He must have fed Coco when Jonah was watching.

Lingering more than was necessary, Jonah finally lowered his hand but not before brushing the back of his hand on Saint's cheeks, completely uncaring of who saw. As it were, a few people in the restaurant were already looking over because of Saint's walking stick and Coco. "So...you have any plans for later or you just wanna hang?"

Saint nibbled on his roll, oblivious to looks, aware only of Jonah's nearness and the feel of warm skin against his face. "I think just hang, but I would like to go to the coffee house tomorrow night. They are having an open mike night and my friend is going to read his latest poem and I want to be supportive." He ran his fingers up the other boy's arm.

Goosebumps rose on Jonah's covered arm and he smiled a little goofier than he made it out to be. He stuffed his mouth with the remainder of the bread in his hand. The mention of the coffee house stirred something in Jonah. Had he ever been to a coffee house? To sit and lounge? He had always been the one behind the swinging doors, cleaning up. He wondered what it would feel like to be the one being served. He managed not to bristle too much at the mention of the friend who wrote poems. Jonah was not a jealous person but even he couldn't deny the fact that he didn't like the poet already. "Uh yeah...sure." Jonah said a bit too uncertainly. He took another garlic knot and squeezed Saint's hand. "More garlic knots?" He asked quickly to change the subject.

At that point the waiter came with their drinks which Saint managed to grasp immediately and almost drained his immediately. He held it out to the waiter who grinned and grabbed the glass for he had known Saint for quite a while and was quite aware of how much soda the teen could go through. "Sure, I'll have another knot," he said once the waiter walked away.

Jonah smiled when Saint finished his soda in a blink of an eye it seems. "You're thirsty." He stated before taking a sip of his own. He raised the hand with the garlic knot up to Saint's lips for him to eat. He looked at his boyfriend and his smile lessened a bit. "It's kind of funny how much you're tolerating me but your siblings pretty much hate me."

Saint frowned and took the knot from Jonah. "Are they giving you a hard time?" he asked, his voice irritated at the thought. He adored the twins, but he wouldn't put up with his boyfriend being harrassed. Coco woofed and Saint absentmindedly gave her the roll, getting a thorough hand lick in return. "And I don't just tolerate you, I love you... I thought you knew that. I won't say forever I know how much you hate that."

"They're not...they just don't seem to...I dunno." Jonah shrugged and grabbed a napkin to wipe Saint's mouth. Jandro didn't like him that much, he knew. Even the first day Jonah came to the house, he had been very...cold? And although Lia was slightly tamer than her twin, it made for awkward conversation whenever he was reminded of how she reacted when he had left Saint at home alone. He shook his head and lowered his hand over Saint's. "Sorry...I shouldn't bum you out with this. Let's just...food." Jonah smiled at the waiter who came with the food and Saint's drink. When he left, Jonah turned back to his boyfriend. "I know you love me and so do I..." He didn't say anything about Saint's choice of words. It wasn't that he hated it. He just couldn't fathom it just yet.

Saint's nose wrinkled as his mouth was wiped. It made him feel like a baby, but he wouldn't say anything about it. "Jandro... well he is very protective and feisty. He doesn't hate you I think just is worried I'll get hurt. I had a bad experience a few years ago and... well I ended up in the psych ward for about a month. They all are afraid I will lose it again," Saint revealed, not knowing that Jandro had already told Jonah. It was difficult talking about it and he was worried it would drive his boyfriend away. He was relieved when Jonah returned his proclamation of love. "Okay... food." He tasted his pasta, being really careful not to spill any on his clothing.

Jonah let Saint eat on his own as he dug into his pizza. "Wow...this is awesome." He said as he chewed silently. "I'm sorry I'm whining too much." Jonah looked at Saint with a little smile. "I should just be glad you're not dumping me is all. I don't think I'll be able to explain what happened earlier to any of your family members..."

"They don't have to know," Saint said softly. He wasn't planning on telling them. He had gotten a scrape on his nose and hands, but he wouldn't say anything unless he was asked and then he would tell them he fell in the bathroom. "Don't worry about it. Maybe I should have a talk with the twins."

"Don't, Santos." Jonah said quietly, placing his pizza back on his plate. "I think I should settle it on my own. How's your food?" he asked as he picked up his food again to nibble on it. "Mine's awesome, did I mention that?" He knew he was being awkward but he couldn't help it. He loved that Saint was willing to talk to his siblings but it would just show much of a douche Jonah actually was.

"You want to try one of these?" Saint said with a grin. "They are fantastic, one of my favorite dishes here." He would have pushed the dish over, but he was afraid of knocking over something. "I'm glad you like it here. This is my favorite restaurant. I usually come here for my birthday."

"Yeah, I'll try that." He picked up a fork and dug into Saint's food and immediately agreed that it was fantastic. "I can understand why it's your favourite." Jonah smiled. "Birthday? Every year?" he asked, wondering who he should ask about that. And he wondered if he should break the tradition for his next birthday or follow it. Maybe he should ask Lily about it. They continued eating in comfortable silence.

Saint grinned, knowing that Jonah was digging for his birthday, but he ignored it, too amused to make it easy for him. "Well its a long time away, so I wouldn't worry about it," he said and settled into eating. Coco was disappointed for she only got a few pieces of roll. Saint even agreed to dessert which they took back home with them.